“I’m happy that men still find me desirable, it keeps me from worrying too much about my age.”
Actress, activist, and dedicated mother, Susan Sarandon has taken on many different roles in her life. Still looking fabulous, she’s long been viewed as one of the sexiest women in Hollywood and also one of its most politically committed players noted for her defiant and initially unpopular opposition to the American invasion of Iraq.
Interestingly, neither her film career nor her willingness to take stands on many key social and political issues was ever her primary focus on life. Behind the scenes, she has been a fiercely dedicated mother of three children.
Now that all but one of her kids have left the nest – only her youngest, Miles, still lives in her New York loft – Sarandon is starting to miss all the hubbub that came with being a very hands-on movie star mom.
Looking Back
“I look back on those years when I was working a lot and raising my kids and wonder how I managed everything,” Sarandon smiles. “I became incredibly well-organized, which is not my natural tendency, and now I miss not having to prepare for dinner at 6 every evening. It was a lot of work but I loved it and I’m proud that all my children are leading pretty happy and interesting lives.”
Sarandon is the recipient of numerous accolades, including an Academy Award, a BAFTA Award, and a SAG Award, and has been nominated for a Daytime Emmy Award, six Primetime Emmy Awards, and nine Golden Globe Awards.
Sexiest Woman Alive
“I’m happy that men still find me desirable, it keeps me from worrying too much about my age. Being single again was a traumatic experience but slowly I figured out that it can shake you out of your complacency. You start to rethink everything and eventually you pull out of the sadness and feel that you’re entering this new chapter in your life where you can be very independent and do exactly what you like. It’s not such a bad deal.”
Life
“I like to say I’m here because all of my plans failed! I never wanted to be an actor. I never studied. Nothing. I just wanted to get out of New Jersey, so I went to college.”
“I fell into everything. I think that is one of my strongest virtues which has served me the best. When something crossed my path, I was flexible enough to say: ‘That looks interesting, let’s give it a whirl. That’s true in my work too. You go in with a certain idea about what you don’t want a character to be, but then you get a lot from the other actor and then suddenly you start to refine your image of who you’re playing, and you discover some interesting variations.’
“You make suggestions, you listen, you observe, and it takes you to a different place, that’s the way I like to work as much as I like to live. It’s more interesting that way.”
Evolving as a mother
“I developed skills as a mom. I became patient. I’m a very good listener. Things sort of turned out to be very positive, and with my kids, I certainly was a fairly competent mother. But then there are certain habits that you form that you want to get rid of. For example, when it came to the men in my life, it took me years to get over mothering instead of dating. Letting grown-up men be grown-up men and not rushing and do everything for them.”
“All that is a form of conditioning that a lot of women seem to have which is to take care of people and to nurture. But you have to understand how to set boundaries, and it took me a while to figure that out and how to nurture myself.”
A guide for other women
“I think all women should take time to examine what kind of balance they have in their lives and at some point become aware of whether they’ve stumbled into the nurturing trap or not. And if they have, they need to get on with their own lives and maybe ask for a little nurturing in return.” (Laughs)
Rejection of plastic surgery
“I don’t think the results are very good for most women…I’m pretty comfortable in my skin. I mean, I think by now I kind of have a sense of who I am and what I care about, and I have my priorities. That’s one reason I just won’t have plastic surgery, for example.”
“Even though there’s pressure in Hollywood to always look as young as possible, I see so many women who’ve gone under the knife and they look like burn victims afterward and lose all character to their faces. When you’re 50 or 60 and trying to look like you’re still 25, there’s something weird about that.”
“I mean, I’ve seen photos of myself in my twenties and I think my expression is pretty blank. So I don’t mind who I’ve become or how I look. I don’t need to pretend that I’m hanging onto my past. I think there is a way to age gracefully. You start to concentrate on what you stand for and what you’ve done and how that shows itself on your face.”
“Your life is somehow reflected in your eyes and your smile. You don’t ever want to turn your face into something which is like this strange parody of who you once were.”
Important Life Lessons
“I’ve learned that beauty is not about being perfect. It’s the imperfections that make you beautiful. I’ve learned that if you can make it to dawn, things will get better. And I’ve learned that when you think life is over, walk it off. Keep moving. I’m also not as worried about my kids making mistakes as I used to be.”
“Now I think, ‘I guess he has to be in a high-maintenance relationship – I wonder what that will teach him?’ Or, ‘A gap year (a one-year break from university studies – ED), hmm, maybe he needs it.’ I’ve always thought things reveal themselves in time. But as I get older, my perspective gets even wider.”
Marriage
“Not that I don’t believe in marriage. I just never have really liked the idea of institutionalized religion. But I think if it means something, I think it’s great. And I think marriage is a great party. But for me, I had my first child out of wedlock.”
“Because I had married when I was twenty for a brief period of time, so as not to get kicked out of school! But I wasn’t married to any of the guys I had children with. And that at the time was like a major, major thing. Now it’s not such a big deal. So I think that has changed.”
Making a partnership last
“The trap of a long-term relationship is taking each other for granted. And some people, when they seal the deal, kind of stop trying. You know, they’ve done it. They’ve caught the person! They’ve found the person, and they’ve made the contract. But sometimes after a while, you just want to change it up.”
“And reboot! But it takes so much work to be in a relationship for a long time. I mean, I’ve always been in committed relationships for a long period of time. I think what would make relationships work, is that every five years you get a chance to know you’re gonna recommit.”
“What happens is, nobody talks about certain things. Like who is gonna take out the garbage. Whose money are you gonna have? Are you gonna help, or am I just doing it by myself? Who gives up their career? Who looks after the kids? You know, nobody goes into that. Because (falling in love) is a hormonally-fuelled kind of experience! And so these things start to come up. It’s just always a negotiation of some kind.”
“You either have a really good person who helps you, and you really talk to each other about what’s going on, so you don’t start drifting farther apart. Otherwise, things pile up and pile up. And then you get in trouble. But I think there are very different kinds of marriages and there’s no right or wrong way. So that’s what I think.”
Aging Gracefully
“There is if you believe that your state of mind and perspective on life is just as important to staying youthful and sexy as your looks. Beauty is a very variable concept. Too many young Hollywood actresses are trying to look the same these days rather than define their sense of beauty and sexiness.”
